‘Lost’ creators admit they have no idea how to end series
Executive producers Damon Lindeloff and Carlton Cuse broke down in tears on their Official Lost podcast yesterday, admitting to the fans that they have no idea how to wrap up the mysteries of the...
View ArticleDogs push for cat leash laws
BERKELEY – A coalition of dog rights groups has proposed a mandatory leash law for cats after an alleged Manx attack put a 41-year-old woman in the hospital. “Leash laws for dogs have been in place for...
View ArticleSecret government gridlocked over economy
REYKJAVIK – The secret world government closed another plenary session without a resolution over what to do with the world economy. Officials would not comment as they can’t acknowledge that a secret...
View ArticleFurniture makers ask Congress to crack down on piracy
NEW YORK – The Furniture Producers Association of America (FPAA) asked Congress today to pass tougher legislation against used furniture sales. The FPAA showed that the furniture industry lost $1.9...
View ArticleCompany predicts rival won’t do very well
SemiGigaCorp Chief Executve Bart Karol said he thinks rival OmniMegaCorp’s control over the marketplace will drive customers away, causing OMC to “fall apart.” Karol spoke with SBN about the direction...
View Article87% of Burkina Faso can’t find Burkina Faso on a map
(Ouagadougou) A recent study of resident of Burkina Faso can’t find their own country on a map. “We win,” said a local livestock farmer. “Take that dumb Americans.” A large percentage of the country...
View ArticleLabor laws dragging down economy
WASHINGTON – Business leaders criticized the President’s jobs speech for not addressing the huge negative effect of current labor laws. “How can we be expected to create jobs when a large part of the...
View ArticleFood blamed for fat teens
SANTA MONICA – Researchers think they may have found the strongest cause for teen obesity. Dr. Morgana Phillechang made the announcement from the Santa Monica Laboratory of Research into Teen...
View ArticleDeep state operatives spread cancer lies
(CLEVELAND, Ohio) A new peer-reviewed study on the prevalence of propaganda ops by Deep State agents, showed cancer myth-spreading has risen 38% over the past six months. The mission of the...
View ArticleREPRINT: Can the value of our newspapers be saved?
This is a reprint from an early 1900s SuBBrilliant News article bemoans the declining state of journalism as newspapers chased splashy headlines and circulation figures. by Isaac Merritt Sometimes it...
View ArticleUnited Airlines to Appear to Improve Customer Service
SAN FRANCISCO – United Airlines announced new customer-friendly policies to help improve the experiences of its passengers after some controversy over its treatment of a doctor asked to leave a flight....
View ArticleAustralia wants microphone companies to record terrorists’ conversations
OTTAWA – This week Canada, the UK, Australia, the US and New Zealand — aka the “Five Eyes” countries — meet in Ottawa. Yesterday, Australia announced it wants to push for microphone companies to give...
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Australian Law Guarantees Australian Sports Victories
CANBERRA – Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull announced a proposed law that will make it illegal for any number to be greater than the total amount of points scored by an Australian national sports team...
View ArticleThinking About Your Mom Will Cost America Almost $700 Million in Lost...
Add thinking about your mother to the list of worker distractions that cost U.S. companies hundreds of millions of dollars in lost productivity. American employers will see at least $694 million in...
View ArticlePresident Tweets in complete sentence using appropriate punctuation and...
WASHINGTON – The President shocked Washington pundits and news analysts Sunday by tweeting a complete sentence that did not use all caps and followed norms of punctuation. The Tweet rocked the Sunday...
View ArticleHollywood-Burbank security lines reach five minutes long amid federal shutdown
Security lines at Hollywood-Burbank Airport stretched to more than four minutes long Monday morning, causing travelers to miss out on breakfast sandwiches at Peet’s amid the partial federal shutdown....
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Lucas and Abrams to co-direct Series with CG actors
(HOLLYWOOD) Unconfirmed reports suggest George Lucas and JJ Abrams will team up on a Disney Plus series set between Return of the Jedi and Force Awakens. Possible new series cast CG actors would be...
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